The Grocery Store

On days like today I realize that life will never be the same again. I remember the carefree days of college grocery shopping that consisted of cereal, smoothies, or whatever I was in the mood for that day. The food would last weeks for me. I'd run into some friends, stop and chat for awhile. It was all round a joyous event for someone overly extroverted like myself.

Fast forward thirteen years. (Thirteen years?!)

I drive into the parking lot and immediately look to see if the "stork sighting, new mothers" space is available. I am not ashamed to still park there even though I'm not pregnant and I do not have a newborn anymore. The minivan mom usually gives me one of those "no you didn't" looks, but quickly takes it back when she sees me struggling with my SUV of a double stroller. I get the kids situated in their seats in the stroller and start my walk into the store.

Parker immediately starts yelling, "cookie, cookie, chocolate chip, sprinkles, cookie, cookie...". I walk in the store, look for the disinfecting wipes, grab a basket (that will hopefully hold all of my groceries for the week), and proceed to the cookie counter.

The lady always gives me two cookies. I'm not sure if it's because I have that look of desperation on my face or if she actually believes that Abigail needs a cookie too.

The first half of the store is usually pretty tame. We walk through the aisles and check off the list. Oh yes, and God forbid I ever forget the list. Lists are a necessity after popping out two babies. Parker eats cookie #1 and usually cookie #2, except for the small piece I break off for myself.

Then comes the second half of the store. The cookies are eaten, and the little arms look like "go go gadget arms". (Remember that show?) I swear Parker's arms are 6 feet long. This is where the game begins. He grabs. I grab back. Abigail screams. Paci in Abbi's mouth. He grabs the breakable bottle. I try to grab the bottle, but it goes on the floor and breaks. I look around. Hmm? Goldfish. I open the goldfish we haven't yet bought. All is quiet again.

And the pattern continues until checkout.

At checkout... Parker screams as I put the almost empty goldfish bag on the counter to be scanned. He stops screaming after it's scanned. Abigail screams when the cashier says, "hello." She doesn't like cashiers. My arm looks like I have a disease because I carried one week's groceries in a basket on my arm- you know the pink impressions. Parker puts Abigail's paci in his mouth. The bag boy tells me that Parker's too old to eat a pacifier and takes the pacifier out of my son's mouth while proceeding to tell me about a guy he knows who still uses a pacifier at night to sleep at the age of 31. I grab the paci, stick it in my pocket, and hope that I'll remember that it's a dirty one before I give it back to a child on the ride home.

Anyone want to go shopping?