Parker's Brown Eyes

We've had quite an emotional ride the last few days. I'll start from the beginning.

Parker has always squinted, a little. The last month or so we've been noticing it a lot more. He's lost interest in books, drawing, and learning letters. I noticed that he can't see airplanes in the sky or stars at night. He does see the moon, which he loves to point out. Monday I called our pediatrician to get a referral. Later that day Parker's preschool teachers told me that they thought he needed glasses. I called the eye doctor and got him an appt. for Wednesday.

The eye doctor. His name is Dr. Levine. He's a household name in our family because he was my brother's doctor. My brother had cataracts in both eyes when he was 3. He had surgery after surgery, cataract after cataract, etc. My brother was Dr. Levine's poster child. The funny thing is that everyone in that office new who I was because I am Robbie Strickland's sister.

The appointment. We first got Parker's eyes dilated. I don't know if you've ever had this done before. I don't like it. It makes me feel really sick. They put drops in your eyes that open up your pupils so that they can see clearly. The assistant first checked Parker's eyes. She told me that he is severely nearsighted. His number is 600. I'm not sure what that means, but it's pretty bad. But, then she said, "And, there's something wrong with his eyes." What do you mean there's something wrong? "When I look into his eyes, there's something there. Something isn't normal. The doctor will know more. But, I want you to know that there's something wrong. Wait here and the doctor will see you soon." That was the hardest part of my day. I had no idea what was going on. I couldn't imagine my little boy going blind, etc.

The diagnosis. We don't know everything yet. We have to go back in a month for Dr. Levine and another doctor to check Parker's progress. Dr. Levine said that there are spots on Parker's eyes. Sometimes these spots just go away on their own, but sometimes it's the beginning signs of cataracts. Given that cataracts are likely hereditary and that Parker's vision has been getting worse, Doc said that they will probably turn into full-blown cataracts. It's hard to know that my little boy's vision is getting worse and worse at the age of 2!

What's next? Parker will start wearing glasses for his nearsightedness. They should arrive sometime today. We will go back in a month to reevaluate his eyes. At that point, if he has cataracts, will start the process. I'm not sure what that process will be yet. I know it's not the same as it was 30 years ago when my brother had this same problem.

I know that there are worse things out there. I know that I have friends who have had worse things happen to their children. And, I'm thankful for modern technology. But, I'm having a really hard time with the fact that my son's life is going to be different now. I know he'll be fine. But, I don't want this for him. I don't want him to be limited because of his eyes. I don't want him to wear glasses or something for the rest of his life. So, I need a few days to grieve. And, in a month I may need that again, or even more. I do know that it's going to be okay and that God is in control. And, in a couple days it probably won't be that big of a deal to me. But, for now, it's hard.

I'll post pictures as soon as the glasses arrive.