Fighter

I keep playing that Christina Aguilera song, "Fighter," in the back of my mind. I'm fighting for my son. I refuse to be a passive mom who just sits back and watches her son go through craziness with his eyes. My house is a mess, I haven't cooked in days, and the TV has been playing children's shows nonstop. Why? Because I am on a quest to get the absolute BEST doctor for my child. I've called foundations, doctors, friends, friends of friends, uncles of friends, surgeons, the list goes on and on. I'm following every lead. I have no idea where my journey will take us.

Yesterday was a hard day. My friend, Vicki, got to hear me in the heat of the frustration. Today has been better. I feel like I have some roads to go down. All this to say... moms out there, be proactive and be aggressive for your kids. A friend of mine reminded me last night that wisdom and discernment comes from God. I really believe that as moms we are called to use what God has given us and to fight for our families. I'll let you know where we end up.

The Scoop

So, here's the scoop on little P. On Thursday, January 8, he will go under general anesthesia so that the doctor can get a better look at the cataracts. If the cataracts are bad enough the doctor will go ahead and preform the surgery on one eye at that time. After removing the cataract the doctor will put an implant in P's eyes. We will go back a week later for him to do the surgery on the other eye.

What we know: P has cataracts in both eyes that are directly in his line of vision. The only way to get cataracts to go away is to remove them. Removing cataracts is a fairly simple procedure in adults, but is much more complex in a child. (If you're curious, give me a call. It's too difficult for me to explain in writing.) The doctor needs to look closer at the cataracts to see if they are bad enough to undergo the surgery, or if they are mild enough to be left alone for awhile. If we don't get the surgery now, the cataracts will get worse, and will eventually need to be taken out anyways. As with any surgery, there are risks involved.

I'm sure any parent can understand that it's hard to choose a surgery that could cause your child to go blind, etc. But, at the same time, P is slowly losing his vision in both eyes from the cataracts. Our choice seems to be more a choice of timing. Eric and I are both in "information overload" right now. And, at the same time, we're trying to gather as much info as possible before the surgery decision on January 8.

Please pray that we can make a wise and informed choice about the surgery and the doctors involved. Pray also that P's vision will not get worse before January 8. (We've seen a decrease in his vision just in the last week.)

Parker P

For some reason we've always called Parker, "Parker P." I was looking through old pictures of him last night, and came across his 7 month picture. It stuck out to me because Abigail is 7 months old.

We found out today that Parker does have cataracts in both eyes. It looks like surgery is eventually going to happen if not soon. It's too much information, and too new of information for me to write about right now.

For now, enjoy the 7 month picture. :)

Bowling

We went bowling with my parents and the kids. It was really fun, but very tiring at the same time. It literally took all 4 adults to keep the situation under somewhat control. Parker loved it.

Couldn't resist adding this one. Hey, grandpa!

Lately

These are some old pictures. But, I had to show them. We went to a farm to run in the corn maze, etc. Parker cried and cried that he wanted to be a cowboy. So, here's my little cowboy.




We also got to ride on a tractor and pet the camels. Yes, camels.


Halloween. We had an angel and a pirate. Parker was confused. He kept running up to doors saying, "Chucky Cheese!" After correcting him (several times) it became, "Trick or trees!" Needless to say, he had a blast.

The Glasses

The glasses arrived yesterday just before lunchtime. As we were walking out of the doctor's office, Parker wearing his new glasses, he kept watch his feet as he walked. He stopped several times to look around at the building, the floor, people, etc. He kept saying, "Mommy, where are we? Mommy, what's dat?" Tonight we looked at the stars for the first time. He counted 3 of them, which was pretty close to accurate.

I definitely think I'm having a harder time with this than he is. I had a "moment" this morning simply because I don't like seeing him have to wear glasses, and because I miss seeing his big brown eyes. But, he seems fine. He asks to take them off sometimes. I can usually distract him, or the Halloween candy comes in handy for bribes.

Anyways, here are some pictures of his first 2 days with glasses, and, of course, an extra shot of Abigail thrown in there too. Thank you all for your sweet messages.

Parker's Brown Eyes

We've had quite an emotional ride the last few days. I'll start from the beginning.

Parker has always squinted, a little. The last month or so we've been noticing it a lot more. He's lost interest in books, drawing, and learning letters. I noticed that he can't see airplanes in the sky or stars at night. He does see the moon, which he loves to point out. Monday I called our pediatrician to get a referral. Later that day Parker's preschool teachers told me that they thought he needed glasses. I called the eye doctor and got him an appt. for Wednesday.

The eye doctor. His name is Dr. Levine. He's a household name in our family because he was my brother's doctor. My brother had cataracts in both eyes when he was 3. He had surgery after surgery, cataract after cataract, etc. My brother was Dr. Levine's poster child. The funny thing is that everyone in that office new who I was because I am Robbie Strickland's sister.

The appointment. We first got Parker's eyes dilated. I don't know if you've ever had this done before. I don't like it. It makes me feel really sick. They put drops in your eyes that open up your pupils so that they can see clearly. The assistant first checked Parker's eyes. She told me that he is severely nearsighted. His number is 600. I'm not sure what that means, but it's pretty bad. But, then she said, "And, there's something wrong with his eyes." What do you mean there's something wrong? "When I look into his eyes, there's something there. Something isn't normal. The doctor will know more. But, I want you to know that there's something wrong. Wait here and the doctor will see you soon." That was the hardest part of my day. I had no idea what was going on. I couldn't imagine my little boy going blind, etc.

The diagnosis. We don't know everything yet. We have to go back in a month for Dr. Levine and another doctor to check Parker's progress. Dr. Levine said that there are spots on Parker's eyes. Sometimes these spots just go away on their own, but sometimes it's the beginning signs of cataracts. Given that cataracts are likely hereditary and that Parker's vision has been getting worse, Doc said that they will probably turn into full-blown cataracts. It's hard to know that my little boy's vision is getting worse and worse at the age of 2!

What's next? Parker will start wearing glasses for his nearsightedness. They should arrive sometime today. We will go back in a month to reevaluate his eyes. At that point, if he has cataracts, will start the process. I'm not sure what that process will be yet. I know it's not the same as it was 30 years ago when my brother had this same problem.

I know that there are worse things out there. I know that I have friends who have had worse things happen to their children. And, I'm thankful for modern technology. But, I'm having a really hard time with the fact that my son's life is going to be different now. I know he'll be fine. But, I don't want this for him. I don't want him to be limited because of his eyes. I don't want him to wear glasses or something for the rest of his life. So, I need a few days to grieve. And, in a month I may need that again, or even more. I do know that it's going to be okay and that God is in control. And, in a couple days it probably won't be that big of a deal to me. But, for now, it's hard.

I'll post pictures as soon as the glasses arrive.