I was shopping at the mall alone on Tuesday. As I was walking down the mall corridor, I realized that I hadn't been in any stores in over 20 minutes. Think about it. When you go to the mall, you go from store to store without taking a break, unless you're buying that coffee or diet coke to get you through the rest of your shopping outing. I thought to myself, "What have I been doing for 20 minutes?" I had stared at the ornaments on the big tree, watched the kids line up to see Santa, played with the helicopter that the man in the center of the mall was trying to sell to me, and had to run to the bathroom from laughing so hard when someone walked into the display in front of me. That's when I realized that THIS is what I've been missing.
I feel like the last several years of my life have just been "go, go, go..." I have many things to write on my work resume, community service resume, and travel resume from the past few years. But, when did I stop and ENJOY the world around me?
I quit my job in October. I LOVED my job. I still LOVE my old job, and most days wish that I could get it back or that it somehow would've worked out for me. I quit because I needed to quit. Eric kept saying that things with me needed to change. I wasn't having fun, or being fun. And, I knew it too.
And, so, I wonder today, if I might be getting back a little more of myself. I wonder how spending all day with a one year old is making life more purposeful and more enjoyable. I wonder how my day was fulfilled by watching the sparking lights on the Christmas tree in the mall. I wonder what made me dance around with Parker when he through cheerios all over the carpet. I wonder what the future holds...
This week I saw a glimpse of the old me. And, I think I'm going to be enjoying a little more of the world around me.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good."
4 comments:
hey i saw you today and np mall, you were too far away for me to get to you in time, i was feeding mags. i got your mess from the other day. my cell phone was broken all week, mags drooled all over it and it shorted out....anyway i hope you are still considering coming to the mom group this coming friday? we can use some of this rose smelling wisdom in our group :)
yay! :)
so glad that you are enjoying your time at home. nothing is as rewarding or refreshing as experiencing life with your children. i am very happy for you.
Sandi-Wise words. Thanks for sharing them. -allison
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